How Children With Special Needs Get Along with Their Siblings

Parents have a tough job.  Many times, while they are focusing on the household and the responsibilities before them, they simple don't have enough time to devote to their child with special needs.  Their siblings play a significant role as their brother(s) or sister(s).  As a benefit of growing up with siblings of special needs, they face more situations that demand flexibility and problems solving. They also get more lessons in character building--sensitivity, insight, ability to get alone with others, tolerance of differences, compassion and patience--characteristics that will serve them well in many situations in life.  As kids reach different stages of development, their evolving needs can significantly affect how they relate to one another.  Many feelings may be experienced by the sibling of a child with special needs: they may worry about them, be jealous about the attention they get, be scared that they may even lose their brother or sister, they may even be resentful having to explain their special need, and they may even resent having to take care of them. Though these challenges can be expected, the benefits of having siblings far outweigh the cons.  Ultimately, their love bond for each other will far outweigh the differences.  After all, they are a family!

Music and Children with Special Needs

Music has value beyond entertainment because of its affect on gross motor function, breathing, and self-regulation for children who struggle to speak.  It has been used as a therapeutic tool for many years.  It is a proven instrument in the life of a child with special needs.  Studies also suggest that music can stimulate the neurons that deliver information to the brain stem and other parts of the body. Apart from the obvious physical benefits, music can lighten the load of any person.  It can lead to a spiritual benefit faster than any other means.  Music can touch the most simple heart with a sense of profound value.  It was Hans Christian Anderson who said, "Where words fail, music speaks."  For many children with special needs, words fail them daily.  When you make music with a child with special needs who is non-verbal, you connect and express yourselves in a powerful way.  Music is a great gift. 

Children with Speical Needs and Their Pets

What child doesn't love a pet.  The most wonderful thing about a pet is that it doesn't see the child with special needs as any different than any other child.  Kids and pet are natural companions.  For children with disabilities, pets can be an invaluable physical and/or emotional therapy.  Whether it is straightening muscles through horseback riding, feeling motivated to improve while swimming with dolphins or gaining confidence with the help and companionship of a service or therapy dog, kids with disabilities can benefit from many kinds of animals. Animals offer all children the chance to connect to another living being.  Imagine the precious child with special needs coming through the door and being greeted by the pet in their life.  The purring of a cat or the wagging of a dog's tail communicates much more than just "love."  It creates a warmth and value within the child faster than just about anything. It would probably be surpassed only by the warm, encouraging voice and embrace of the parent of that child.  The parent and pet can have a great influence on the child with special needs. 

Special Needs Children in the Classroom

The classroom is the place where education takes place.  There is typically a teacher and at least one child--usually more.  The teacher prepares a lesson that will hopefully inspire the child to learn the lesson.  When most people think of a classroom with a teacher, they think "reading," "writing," and "arithmetic."  Well, it's time to think outside the box.  A child with special needs will need much more than the "basics" that other kids may need.  They need to feel loved, secure, valued, and encouraged.  They need daily life skills.  They need social development.  They need a teacher with both a heart for them and the skills needed to help them learn their "lessons."  A good teacher of children with special needs will utilize colors, shapes, an encouraging tone and demeanor.  All kinds of visuals will be utilized.  They like barriers in the room so their paths are clearly marked.  Above all, they need to know that their teacher cares deeply for them.  Like all children, even those with special needs, can discern if their teacher see the great value inherent in them.     

"Routine"--so important for special needs families

When a family with special needs gets their day started, "routine" is very important to them as with any family.  With a family with special needs, the "routine" they need is even greater than most other families.  Yes, they get up at a certain time.  Yes, they get dressed.  Yes, they eat breakfast, Yes, they go to school.  Yes, they say "I love you"--just like any other family.  The difference is that with most families, the "routine" they seek is to help develop discipline.  Their "routine" is developed to help them get things done.  In a family with special needs, the "routine" takes on all these purposes plus others.  This "routine" is needed in the life of a child with special needs just like a senior adult.  Their "routine" helps the special needs child feel secure.  It alleviates stress in their life.  It keeps stimulus to a minimum and thus, it keeps the child on a good footing to reach the objectives of the day.  It might be a little easier to reach certain goals with any family but with a child with special needs, they need the "routine" in a much more important way.  Without it, their "routine" becomes chaos.  "Routine"--its the name of the game for families with special needs.. 

My experience with RAVE

R.A.V.E. is a non profit organization that's assists families that have children with special needs. R.A.V.E. stands for Respite and Volunteer Experiences. This gives parents one night a month to drop off their child with special needs along their siblings and go out for a date without the responsibility of children. I volunteered with this wonderful organization which gave me the opportunity to work one on one with these amazing children. Every session, the volunteers would get together with the kids and play games, make crafts, run around outside, and even eat dinner. I have fallen in love with all the children I worked with. R.A.V.E. gives students a chance to get out of their comfort zone and give to those that may not get the attention and love every kid requires, special needs or not. After each R.A.V.E. session, all the volunteers would sit down in a circle and talk about the child they were partnered with. They would talk about what they saw improving or stood out to them. Every volunteer had a different story and loved telling it. I am so glad I got this experience knowing it is something that will stay with me forever.

How Many Special Needs Can I Child Have?

How many special needs can I child have?  Obviously, there are any number of special needs a child can have.  A special needs child, by definition, is one may have a mild learning disability, cognitive impairment, a food allergy, terminal illness, development delays or mental disabilities.  They might even have shortcomings like panic attacks or psychiatric problems, Some define special needs by what a child can't do.  I see it as what one can do--even with some significant limitations.  The fact is that two "special needs families" sitting side-by-side may have very few things in common.  The storms they face may not look the same.  The one thing they will share is that at least one member in the family will have some specific needs and/or issues that are not common to other families.  They will also share the need to advocate for one member of the family in a more significant way.  For those with special needs children, though they may be drained by the issues they face, they will also find a great sense of value when they minister to the special needs child in their family. 

Special Needs Kids—Life Full of Potential!

I know that deep down in my heart, I have a special place for kids with special needs. I occasionally hear about a single mother or family that learns through an ultrasound that the baby they are carrying has a special need. I have heard some of them consider aborting their babies because they are not “perfect”. My heart shouts out in me that they are indeed special and perfect. Oh, they may be more of a challenge than some but aren’t all kids a challenge? These little bundles are not potential life but life full of potential.

At my church, there is a young girl named Martha (pseudonym). She is two years old and is a Downs baby. Every Sunday I keep her in the church nursery. She is absolutely adorable. She laughs and she hugs. She plays and she sings. She comes from a good home and most would not notice any difference between her and any other child. I would take her home with me in a minute if she was offered.

She and many other kids with special needs are in need of understanding and the same love that we would give to any baby – special needs or not. One must not miss the great treasure inherent in every child whether they have special needs or not.