Handling Stress when you have a Special Needs Child

Ellen Seidman, in her blog, “To the Max” writes about her life and her son with special needs, Max. 

She has a great article about dealing with the stress of not only having a child but a special needs child.  She offers the following “Personal Insights” she incorporates into her life has she manages the stress of her own situation. 

 

She offers the following advice:

1. Change the scenery.

This means that if, say, I’ve just had a frustrating conversation with someone at our insurance company about missing payments, I won’t stay at my desk and continue to deal with paperwork and tasks. I’ll head to the living room and catch a few minutes of HGTV, my TV crack. If possible, I’ll take a walk. And if it’s Max who’s stressing me out—say, because he is screeching about something—I’ll rope in my husband to take a turn talking with him and take a breather in another room or, even better, take a walk outside. Changing the location always changes my perspective.

2. Check out baby photos.

No matter what worries are going through my head about Max, it’s hard to stay anxious when I’m flipping through an album of extreme cuteness.

3. Call your mom.

Not so I can tell her what’s upsetting me, because I don’t want her to worry, but just so I can hear her ask me things like, “Have you been getting enough sleep?” and “Did you have a healthy lunch today?” Feeling cared for in that way that only your mom can care for you helps take the edge off your freakout.

4. De-clutter.

The therapeutic powers of clearing up your desk or reorganizing the playroom sure are potent. One challenge of being a special needs parent is feeling like things are beyond your control—particularly your child’s development. Feeling like you can at least get your stuff under control can bring some peace of mind.

5. Have a carb-protein snack.

Downing something that’s a combo of protein and complex carbs gives me a burst of energy—and with that comes a bit of optimism, too. I like to have a celery stalk filled with a tablespoon of peanut butter and raisins, whole-wheat crackers and cheddar cheese or hummus and carrots.

6. Run cold water over my wrists.

I started doing this in college, when I read that putting your wrists under cold running water can keep you alert because of the pulse points there. It also helps me when stress strikes.

7. Ask your husband to tell me a story.

Reminiscing about funny incidents is always a mood booster. One of our favorites: Dave took toddler Max to the mall during the holiday season, and there was a model standing outside of Abercrombie & Fitch posing for photos with shoppers. Now, Max had pooped and Dave hadn’t had the chance to change him, but Dave wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to have him photographed with a bona fide model. So he handed baby Max over and at first, she was smiling but then she started sniffing suspiciously and when the photographer finally took the photo, she was kind of grimacing and holding Max away from her. Priceless.

8. Two words:

Cat videos.

9. Start planning the next family vacation.

It’s distracting, in the best sort of way, and gets me excited about the future—pulling me out of whatever troubling present I’m dealing with.

10. Blog.

It’s been the most cathartic, inspiring and stress-relieving thing for me in my journey as a special needs mom. There’s nothing like connecting with other parents who get it.